Sports with the Handsome Righthander

Hello sports fans,

     It is I, the handsome Righthander, and i have come to speak on various sports topics.
lets get to it:

1)  Cubs Rookie and last years winner of the "Most popular 8th grader in his school award" Starlin Castro made three errors that cost his team a win, after a great debut where he hit a 3 run homer, and a triple.  I wonder if this player will make it 300 years the Cubs do not win the world series?  Great debut, but what have you done for me lately?  Remember Carl "Tuffy" Rhoades?

2)  Tiger Woods withdrew from a tournament because he has back pain.  he claims to have had it for  months ever since his wife beat him with a golf club.  I noticed this pain did not bother him when he had a chance to win the tournament he entered 3 weeks ago,  only when he missed the cut last week, and this week when he would have missed it again.  I wonder if it hurt when he was banging strange poon?   I bet his wife is glad that he got his marriage all fixed before he decided to devote himself to golf again. 

3)  Bobby jenks losing his stuff as the White Sox closer?  Maybe the answer is a few more cheeseburgers?

4)  Alex Rodriguez stepped on Dallas Braden;s mound during a game a few weeks back, setting off an arguement.  Dallas told arod to stay off his turf, and arod fired back "Who are you?  What have you done?"  Dallas recently re-visited this topic and said, "Hey, I threw a perfect game, its not like I was the highest-paid-yet-fourth-best-player-on-my-own-team."    

5)  Kobe and Dwight Howard's teams each swept their opponents this past weekend to advance to blah blah blah. Kobe faced a team with Boozer, Deron Williams, former members of n'sync, immature, and a few ball boys.  Dwight Howard faced a team of really athletic, meduim height players.  Too bad the athleticism does nto translate into basketball skill.  They might as well have trotted out 11 golfers out there to face the Magic.  Golfer are athletes right?  Rajon Rondo reminded the cavs that all they had is Lebron, and if you can head fake, Lebron will bite and jump allowing you to pass the rock behind the back to the open trailer for a easy duece.   Suck it Lebron.

Thats all I got for now, please join me next time as I discuss How the city of Chicago is the greatest city, with the shittiest sports teams, with all due respect to the New York Knicks.

SPORTS with the Handsome Righthander

Hello sports fans!

     This week we have seen:

1)     Lebron and the 1 seed Cavaliers whup up on the 8th seed Bulls.  Hooting and mean mugging Lebron has just won a title!  Title is for biggest fruad though, so too bad.  Good luck trying to keep the thuggish Orlando Magic from banging you on your gimpy arm Lebron

2) Jamarcuss Russell, the 2007 first draft pick with a lifetime earnings of over 30 MILLION dollars get fired/released.  I guess you have to do more then be big, and strong to win.  He should talk to lebron about how to deal with losing.

3) Miami Dolphins management ask a  college reciever if his mom was a crack whore.  I guess its valid, I mean imagine the embarassment of the organization had they drafted him and then constantly run the CRACKWHORE post route with him in the game?

4) Carlos Zambrano go to the bullpen.  "The team told me its just for a while"  he said.  Carlos, the CUBS have some unfortunate news about Santa Claus they would like to share with you. 

5) The SOX complain about the cold weather affecting their hitting.  The other teams which do all their batting from Arizona are hitting tons.  Sad report though, the Latino hitters on the Rangers have been deported.

Thats all I got for now, but join me next week when I ask Lou Pinella how he has enjoyed being retired for a year already.

THR
AWESOME SPORTS GUY