Strippers

Hello friends.

     I have decided to blog today, to speak about myths.  I don't believe in unicorns, Cubs World Championship aspirations, or hot, smart women.  I often say that believing in the Cubs winning is like playing leapfrog with a unicorn.  It may be fun for a while, but in the end you will end up drilled in the ass and heartbroken.  I find hot women to be the same. 

     I had a weird work schedule this past Tuesday, and did not have to be at work until eleven am.  This afforded me the the rare chance to hit the gym early.  The gym was mostly empty, save the housewives and professional weightlifting guys.  I got on a elliptical, and cranked the Ipod.  After a while, a very very attractive woman gets on 2 machines away from me.  She was very very very attractive.  A muscular dude came by to aske her a question, and she chatted him up about an excercise he should do.  I said to my self, "Smart, hot, she must be a trophy wife."  I asked her if she was a trainer, she said she was not.  Her job required her to be in good shape.  "Athlete?" I asked?  "Exotic Dancer," she answered.  I almost gave her all my money there on the spot.

     "Don't tell me you are the cliche stripper working your way through college?"  I said.  "No, I graduated years ago."  It turns out, she has a masters in Physical Therapy.  She was hot, smart, and pretty funny too.   She said that she was always smart, did not get hot until she made a little money.  I then realized that she was referring to her awesome breasts. six pack abs, and slim thighs.  She went to school to make money, to get plastic surgery, to become a stripper.  Not exactly the way most people plan it out, but it seemed to work for her. 

     She was smart, but could not get the attention she wanted, so she set out to purchase "Hotness" and get it by stripping.  She was hot: tight ass, big round breasts, great shape, and the Halle Berry skin that white girls are jealous of.  She was the hottest woman I had ever seen in the gym, black, or otherwise.  With all this going for her I said, "Why strip?  You can make good money, with your degree."  She said, "Yeah, but I make GREAT money with these (Squeezes breasts)."  She said "2 years of dancing, and my downtown condo is paid off, the porsche is already paid off, and I can take it easy and focus on Physical Therapy.  I want a successful practice by age 30."    I told her I became a fan of strippers/exotic dancers.  She laughed, and then gave me some tips for working out my legs. 

     I always assumed that natural smoking hot women who are smart, were a myth.  I assumed that they were either chubby girls who developed intelligent personalities, and then lost weight, or poor girls who saved up for fake tits by stripping, then got caught in the vicious cycle of drugs, baby daddys, and more stripping.  I never thought that someone would use stripping as an end.  I just assumed that stripping was something you did to get by, not because you have a 5 year plan.   I was totally  wrong in this case, and will be more respectful of EXOTIC DANCERS.  They hate being called strippers by the way. 

For the guys out there, I work out at Cardinal Fitness on Archer, two blocks west of Central.  I will be the one next to the smoking hot stripper Christina.