We have a scoop just submitted by our new Sports reporter, The Handsome Righthander
"Ladies and gentlemen, I hate basketball. I hate it. I love the excercise, and the idea of hooin it up with friends, but I hate it in all its forms. I have no one to blame other than tv. Basketball has been terrible now for a few years. Jordan was a frightening high, and when he left there was no where to go but down. It must be said that i live in Chicago, and this years bulls suck harder than the Fat Jerry Krause years Bulls. It is miserable to see my Bulls lose to the Minnesota team that looks like a pick-up YMCA team. We have exactly one player worth anything, 11 corpses, an inexperienced coach, and no hope.
There is hope however, in the form of Stephon Marbury of the New York Knickerbockers. This guy is like the Forrest Gump of the NBA. He's a moron. A malignant cancer on every team he has ever been on. He has the A-Fruad effect of having the team get light years better once he leaves. I hope the bulls sign him, only to get rid of him and make the team better! He is a bench player making an estimated 17 Million dollars a year. He thought about playing for another team, but would not get released by the Knicks. he wanted to get paid, and get paid again by his new team. He also had some "FAKE" Greek-league scouts come and sign him to a contract that would have included comercials, personal appearances, and private lessons with the team owner, a famous HOMOSEXUAL HINT HINT).
The fact that Starbury is getting punked by Greek teams is hilarious! This motherfucker better not ever say he plays for the love of the game. He famously had sex with and then harassed a woman in his ford explorer. How do you Harass someone after you have been intimate with them? He also appearently had intercourse with Isaiah Thomas in order to keep his staring spot on the team. Every time this ass has a chance to really do something with his career, he makes a joke of it, and the league he plays in. I watch the NBA just to hate on starbury. I cannot wait until the Starbury, flavor flav, i love the real chance at the rockbus with the american idol reality show. I bet that motherfucker does not believe in dinosaurs. I bet he ckaims he invented the question mark! I be he accuses chestnuts ob being lazy! i bet he suffers from general malaise!
I absolutely, positively, cannot confirm any of this, but i believe my source in this matter. my source being Eddy Curry.
Yours truly
Eddy Curry"
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